New thoughts

I always knew I wanted to be a pediatric nurse. I would get my R.N. and be happily content. A huge part of me is God. I've had an undying interest towards not only God, but the community around it. I have taught Sunday School, little things like that. It has been in the back of my mind that going into ministry is an option. It came to recently that I know at some point, I want to go into it. I want to actually explore this interest that has been lying within me for so long. In the past couple of days, I have told people that I want to go into ministry. Some think it is totally cool, others get a look of confusion. I think to myself, "well, i don't have much of an explanation just yet"!. This previous Sunday, I went to an ordination of a Pastor, whom I know. The Reverend who gave the sermon told a story that really connected with me.

She said that she over heard a conversation at a function. One man said to another, "What if it was scientifically & historically proven that Jesus had never existed, would your faith be crushed"? The man said, "Yes, completely". The other said, "No, my faith would not be crushed. If Jesus never existed...well darn, he should have!".

It just occurred to me, "man, that sounds like something i would say". But it's those types of questions that I love answering. They're challenging, not only in a sense of yourself, but your faith. So, I know that nursing is absolutely in my future. I also know that my passion for God and his people, along side me, is too great to push aside. So, thanks God, thanks an awful lot.

One life

We've all got one life. One life to take everyday as something beautiful, and love it. We've got one life. So cherish your friends, make new ones, hold every hand you can. If someone you love leaves? Wish them well, and move on knowing that you loved with everything in you, you loved well. Take each lesson and learn from it. Handle hearts carefully but never walk away from love. Oh, and make mistakes. Lots of them, because of course, that is how you learn. And please, smile as often as you can. Smile because you have hope for this world and everyone in it. Smile because the sky is above you, and even if the sun is not out, it will be someday soon. When someone needs time, give it to them. Step back, take a breath, and just give it to them. You're not always going to know, agree or understand. I know i haven't. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that everyday i walk out of my house knowing that there is a world full of people to get to know. a million views to understand and experience. New food to be come a new favorite. A new chance to tell everyone thank you. It's one life. God, please let me live it right.


"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you".

Free

After two years, i am free. Really free this time. The most astonishing part of it is...it was all in my hands all along. I had the complete ability to really stop all of it, to walk away, to stick up for myself. But that's what learning a lesson is all about. Now i know. But i'll tell you, i can't stop smiling, and my energy and motivation is higher than ever. if i could tell one person something, i would. because they deserve to hear it. One day, i will. But at the moment? Thank you God, for giving me the strength to set myself free. Thank you for letting me wake up this morning, seeing the world in a whole new light. The kind of light when you wake up while you're camping. The sun peeking through the trees and blinding you in the sort of way that really makes you love the world. and to my friends: everyday when i see your smiling faces, it makes me so thankful. Good thing it's almost Thanksgiving :)